Betty Comden - Thanks a Lot, But No Thanks lyrics

(Verse) I'm watching and waiting Hello, Sam! Hello, Joe! I'm waiting and watching Hello, Max! Hello, Bob! Hello, Jasper! I hope and I yearn Hello, Bill! Hello, Phil! Just for his return Hello, fellas! (Chorus) Thanks for the present of the silver blue mink Thanks for the plane and for the ice-skating rink Thanks for the yacht and for the solid-gold sink Thanks a lot, but no thanks Thanks for the Scrabble set with platinum board Thanks for the factory once known as Ford Thank you for finding me the famous Lost Chord Thanks a lot, but no thanks For I am just a faithful la**ie Waitin' for a faithful lad And there's no gift, however cla**y By which this la**ie can be had Thanks for the banks and for the Santa Fe Line Thanks for the darling uranium mine But I'm a gal with only one valentine Thanks a lot, but no thanks Thanks for the champagne And thanks for the state of Maine And thanks for the autograph of John Wayne Thanks a lot, but no thanks Thanks for the cruise And thanks for the oil wells that ooze And thanks for that pair of Fred Astaire's shoes Thanks a lot, but no thanks For I am just a faithful la**ie Waitin' for a faithful lad And there's no gift, however cla**y By which this la**ie can be had Thanks for losin' your mind And thanks for Fort Knox, sealed and signed But I've got a guy who's Clifton Webb and Marlon Brando combined Thanks a lot, but no, no thanks