Betty Comden - I Understand (Pitkin's Song) lyrics

When I was five, my brother stole my lollipop My lollipop stole he But I didn't mutter, "Damn your hide," He needed candy more than I'd So instead of biting off his hand I just said, "Goo! I understand!" When I was ten, my mother trounced me with a mop With a mop trouncéd she me But I didn't mutter, "Damn your eyes," I knew she needed exercise So instead of joining a gypsy band I just said, "Mom, I understand." At thirty a man in a car ruthlessly ran me down He ruthlessly down ran me But I didn't mutter, "Damn your spleen," For a man's a man, but a car's a machine So instead of stripping him of his land I just said, "Jack, I understand." Now I'm forty-five and I've met Claire, we're engaged to wed Engaged to wed are we But tonight I tell you, "Damn you, Claire," You played me evil and that's not fair! So instead of remaining calm and bland I hereby do not understand!