Bellows - From The Palms lyrics

In the yard, I see you smiling Broad, some time ago Odd, how long I lasted Angry, full of hatred In the snow, we looked so crazy Wrecking balls, our every footstep crushing And oh, I finally see you Closer, broad, expanding A white sheet, no more haunting The wrestle, fist & palm The cold My home From the palms, your broad arms Open your hands Open your… In the yard, I see you smiling So why am I so sad? Sometimes in moments of quiet I remember your face and I feel unhappy How did I make it so hard to love me? And why is it so hard? Why is it so hard? To care for you? To love you