Bedlam Bards - The Ball of Ballinor lyrics

Four and twenty virgins came down from Inverness When the ball was over, there were four and twenty less Chorus Balls to your partner, Arse against the wall If you canna get \ on a Saturday night You canna get \ at all The bride was in the bedroom, a talking to the groom The front! the front!! And not the back's the entrance to the womb Chorus The queen was in the parlor, eatin' bread and honey The king was in the chambermaid, and she was in the money! Chorus The deacon's wife, well she was there, with her bu*t against the wall Put your money on the counter boys, I'm gonna convert you all Chorus There was \\ in the kitchen and \\ on the stones Ya' couldna hear the music for the \\ and the groans Chorus The village butcher he was there, a cleaver in his hand And every time he turned around, he circumcised the band Chorus The village blacksmith, he was there, his balls were made of bra** And when they clacked together, lightning shot out from his a** Chorus Cedric the Fiddler, he was there, 'tis true I tell you so He entertained the ladies while he rosined up his bow Chorus Hawke the Balladeer was there, drunken as a lout Strummin' on his instrument to see what would cum out Chorus The village chandler, he was there, filling in the cracks His hand was in the honey comb, his wick was in the wax Chorus Some horny Vikings they were there, along with Eric the Red They wore their horns inside their pants, instead of on their heads Chorus The Clan MacRaven, they were there, all around the keep They ate up all the haggis, and they buggered all the sheep Chorus The letter carrier he was there, the poor man had the pox He couldna \ the la**ies, so he \ the letter box Chorus The village cripple, he was there, I did not like him much He lined them up against the wall, and \\ with his crutch Chorus The village drunkard, he was there, boisterous and loud He was swinging from the chandelier and whizzin' on the crowd Chorus The village idiot he was there, can you imagine that? Amusing himself by abusing himself and catchin' it in his hat Chorus The village \\ she was there, she \\ \ \\ And every time she \ \\, \ \\ closed the door Chorus When the ball was over, everyone confessed The music was exquisite, but the f**kin' was the best Chorus Chorus