Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya There never was a city kid truer and bluer There's more to me than you'll ever know And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh Ton Thumb Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery Date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon And I'm always out looking for a female companion I threw the la**o around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib I took off her moccasins and put on my bib I'm wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peeling Your body's on time and your mind is appealing Staring at the cracks up there upon the ceiling Some such nonsense is the ba** that I'm throwing Talking to a girl telling her I'm all knowing She's talking to the kid to the who I'm telling here every lie that you know that I never did Hey Ladies, get funky Me in the corner with a good looking daughter I dropped my drawers and it was welcome back Kotter We were cutting up the rug she started cutting up the carpet In my apartment I begged her please stop it The gift of gab is the gift that I have And that girl ain't nothing but a crab Educated no stupid yes And when I say stupid I mean stupid fresh I'm not James at fifteen or Chachi in charge I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large With the white sa**oons and the looks that k** Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie 'Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around You be listening to my records' a number one sound Step to the rhythm step step to the ride I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside Tune in turn on to my tune that's live Ladies flock like fish to my line Hey Ladies, get funky She's got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door Break up with your girl it ended in tears Vincent Van Gogh and mail that ear I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking She said come on over it was me that she missed I threw that trash can through her window cause you know I got dissed Your old lady left you and you went girls(x3) insane You blew yourself up in the back of the six train Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak s**ing down pints till I didn't know Woke up in the morning at the Won Ton Ho 'Cause I announce I like girls that bounce With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce Girls with curls and big long locks And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks Walking high and mighty like she's number one and She thinks she's the pa**ionate one