Beardyman - You... Win! lyrics

Hello and welcome to I Have Achieved Nothing with me, Beardyman, who hasn't achieved anything. Let's hear from out first caller. Hello caller, what's your name? My name's Stacey Where are you from Stacey? I'm from Ess** Stacey from Ess**, and Stacey what do you do in Ess**? I'm a receptionist And what have you achieved today? Erm, nothing Correct Well done, you win a crippling sense of disappointment and a general lingering malaise Oh great Do you really mean that? No You disingenuous drone I like X Factor Thank you for playing I Have Achieved Nothing which hasn't achieved anything, coming up next-