If I were you, and I wish that I were you All the things I'd do to make myself turn blue I suppose I'd start by removing all my clothes Tie my panty-hose around my neck I'll be that girl, and you would be right over If I were a field, you would be in clover If I were the sun, you would be in shadow And if I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow If you will not have me as myself Perhaps as some one else, perhaps as you I'll be worth noticing Then even a eunuch won't resist The magic of a kiss from such as me I'll be that girl, and you would be right over If I were a field, you would be in clover If I were the sun, you would be in shadow And if I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow It's time to kick off your shoes Learn how to choose sadness It's time to throw off those chains Addle our brains with madness 'Cause we've got plenty of time To grow old and die But when at last your beauty's faded You'll be glad that I have waited for you When you're done With being beautiful and young When that course is run Then come to me I'll be that girl, and you would be right over If I were a field, you would be in clover If I were the sun, you would be in shadow And if I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow