Banquets - Forever Bender lyrics

Out cold from long nights and long drives I'm burnt out on s** appeal Dare me to move on, or to lash out Give me ugly, or just something real I used to toss and turn a fever Now I toss and turn my bed Searched out the old flings, that failed me I'll take what I am instead It all comes down to I'm still me, even without you You'll run away, endlessly Eat your words, ignore all the shame We could be, 'never were', 'never speak' It's a forever bender with me I tried, and quit for a challenge I left Mom and Dad with a balance Here's to losing weight and losing meals I coughed up while my voice gives out I've got pills, but I wake with doubts That I can't sing what nobody needs to hear Oh, I'm petty-full I pissed in your garden, now nothing's going to grow Aren't we all poets? Yeah, I know I collect what I can remember, in a box because I'm getting old Forever Bender Nothing's going to grow