[Intro: Dave Chappelle & Bailey] f** yo couch, n***a Yeah f** yo couch n***a Let me tell you about this sh** If a motherf**er spill his motherf**ing drink on you in the club while you fresh, he f**ing up yo couch man If a b**h loud as hell in yo ear while you trying to get yo smoke on and you asleep, she f**ing up yo couch man If the police come around this motherf**er messing up ya paper, they f**ing up yo couch [Verse 1: Bailey] I'm hella in the spot just flossing b**h Stepping on shoes, disrespecting, and tossing sh** When I'm outside, n***a, I'mma pee on ya whip f** the bartender, nah, I ain't leaving a tip And I'mma let a broad know that if her a** is whack Straight mean mugging n***as til they mad at that Perhaps I go around this motherf**er with a cup of Moët, spitting on them hoes' necks Flipping over tables, throwing chairs at the DJ, shoving n***as, f** what security say Putting holes in the speakers by the velvet rope, in the non-smoking area, is hella smoke Just stomping, n***a like I own this place, the promoter mad, I can see it on his face If a n***a do a lot I'mma punch him in his mouth I don't gotta be in ya house to f** up yo couch, yeah b**h [Hook: Bailey] You gotta twist wit it, do like this wit it Move yo hips side to side, put yo fist wit it f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a You gotta twist wit it, do like this wit it Move yo hips side to side, put yo fist wit it f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a [Verse 2: Bailey] Yeah man, you better fix grandma's plastic I'm coming to yo hood and i got bad habits I'mma toss rotten eggs til they smell like bums Hit the hood liquor store, sell my d** Do fishtails and donuts, f** yo couch Knocking this right here, til the amps blow out I don't really care about nothing, I'm stuntin' Posted on the block and the engine ain't runnin' Slide out, rob a n***a hide out, leave the trash Like the residue, dope scale, seeds, and bags Hit yo hood everyday you'll be thinking how can he Roll through the hood and make it hot as Miami Holla at ya main b**h getting the puss Cause she know when you a square, that's clearly a wuss Only give the type of Gs West Philly a cook I could lie about how I feel, but its really the hook [Hook: Bailey] [Verse 3: Bailey] See, I'll be all up in people halls, dumping ashes laughin' Spitting, wiping snot, f** using a napkin Running in the fitting room, while hoes undress They leaving used condoms on yo man's front steps Taking n***as b**hes from right under they armpit She used to lead the choir, now she stripping on market If its not ya girl's couch, then I'm f**ing up some other hoes In the laundry mat, throwing bleach on ya color clothes Hoes know I'm lil' daddy wit clout It pays off for checking in the cracks of the couch I'm in the town giving all the wrong directions If they upset, tell 'em what the song suggest and [Hook: Bailey] [Outro: Charlie Murphy & Dave Chappelle]