Aziz Ansari - Using My BlackBerry While Driving lyrics

I like living in L.A. The only thing I don't like about living here is driving. I always get so bored when I'm driving and when I get bored I go on the internet on my Blackberry. So I'm going to die. And whenever they go through the records and they look at my phone they're going to say, “Woah that's what he looked up right before he died?” It'll be so sad it'll be like, “Comedian Aziz Ansari died in a car accident today: He was struck by another vehicle while using IMDb to see if Val Kilmer was indeed in the film Willow. Representatives from Mr. Kilmer confirm that he was indeed in the film and hopes this to prevent future tragedies of this nature. This is the third Willow related d**h this year.” “Comedian Aziz Ansari was k**ed in a car accident today. He was struck by another vehicle while checking showtimes for UP on Fandango. He just purchased a single ticket for a 4:00 show at a $2 theatre in order to live out the saddest afternoon of all time.” “Comedy bad boy Aziz Ansari, aka comedy heartthrob Aziz Ansari, was k**ed in a awful automobile accident today. He was struck by another vehicle while googling his own name.” I actually do that man. It's hard not to. Everyone I know google their own name to see what people write and it's so funny people always think, “Oh man, he will never have time to read this.” (chuckles to himself) Yeah I do. I don't do anything, I take naps all day. And I read this one time this girl had written about how she had a celebrity crush on me. And it's funny because she never thought in a million years I'd read that. But I did. So one day I'm just gonna email her and be like, “Hey it's me Aziz! I heard you have a celebrity crush on me. I'm a lot lonelier than you think I am. Where's your house? I will come there now.”