...and gather ‘round I have a tale to tell ‘bout how I fled this town Back when Red MacDougal's Speckled chicken didn't lay And the Hanson Twins' cows ran dry From February ‘til May I found myself shanghaied In the spring of ‘33 When Lon Chaney Senior Came walking up to me Speaking nonsense about clowns In the middle of the night And how he and Louie Jacobs Went and stole a flashlight Wandered my way to and fro Until I saw the southern sea Where three square meals a day Made a sailor outta me Mopped the decks for six full moons Don't wanna brag or boast Hopped overboard and swam ashore When we hit the Ivory Coast...