I remember back when I was still in school These bullies always picked on me, they called me a fool They knocked me on the ground! They rubbed dog poop in my ears! They kicked me, they punched me They said, "Come and fight you wimp!" (What'd you do??!!) I faked I had an injury then I ran away I ran away, I ran away Danger stared me in the face and I ran away The children always laughed at me after that day When I said I tore my ACL and I ran away I was playing one day in my backyard When I made the perfect snowball, round and smooth and hard I spotted nasty Ted Jablonski! I let fly the perfect snowball! It smashed the neighbour's windshield! He came out and said, "Who the hell did that?!" (What'd you do??!!) I pointed at my sister and then I ran away I ran away, I ran away Danger stared me in the face and I ran away My sister was grounded for three years and a day So I said she was adopted and then I ran away I was walking with my girlfriend one night Two guys were sitting on a bench, they pointed at her and said "She's a fat, ugly tramp!" "She smells like peanut bu*ter!" "She's a loser!" "She's pedantic!" "She's a mediocre soccer player!" My girlfriend said, "Make them stop!" (What'd you do??!!) I dumped my girlfriend on the spot then I ran away I ran away, I ran away Danger stared me in the face and I ran away The honour of my woman was on the line that day So I told my girlfriend I was gay and I ran away I was walking by myself last week When the devil himself appeared in front of me He had fire all around him! He smelled like a burning tire dump! He opened his mouth, he pointed at me and he said "Mike, you're next!" (What'd you do??!!) I came up to the devil! I poked the devil on the shoulder! I said, "Look over there," and then I ran away I ran away, I ran away Danger stared me in the face and I ran away I'm hoping that the devil smokes two packs a day 'Cause my day of reckoning is here and I ran away I ran away, I ran away Danger stared me in the face and I ran away Whenever I was challenged I collapsed like a souffle But I'm still alive to sing this song 'cause I ran away Oh yes I ran (oh yes he ran) Oh yes I ran (oh yes he ran) Oh yes I ran (oh yes he ran) Oh yes I ran I ran away!