One year i got a dog for christmas And i gave it to the boy next door Then i gave him my bike and my mom's bank card Cuz that's what christmas is for I used to give a lot at christmas You might say i gave to much Until my family was broke and we had no place to live That's why christmas s**s I went down to the mall each christmas Had to the santa what to bring A train, a bike, a pony and a great big pile of cash And please don't get my sister anything But the shopping mall santa has been drinking His nose is red from years of drinking scotch He probably won't remember what's on my christmas list This father christmas s**s Christmas s**s, christmas s**s Getting stuff is much for fun You gotta look out for number one Christmas s**s Christmas became worse as years went by It was the most dreaded time of year My parents got me clothes that just weren't cool When all i want is money to buy beer There was a girl at church who i was sweet on So in the christmas play i was the ox I really think she liked me til i stepped on baby jesus Even for our saviour christmas s**s Christmas s**s, christmas s**s Getting stuff is much for fun You gotta look out for number one Christmas s**s Now that i am thirty-eight years old The only things i get are ties and socks My kids are never happy with what's under the tree Soon they'll understand christmas s**s Whoa, every freakin' year christmas s**s Christmas s**s Christmas s**s Christmas s**s Hey! hey! hey! Christmas s**s