The holidays are over, you've gained twenty pounds The cat's choking on tinsel, pine needles stalk the ground There are no cards in the mailbox, just a stack of bills Yes, the holidays are over and you are feeling ill Have a happy christmas hangover It's the most miserable time of the year The eggnog's made you fat, the party is over 'cept for your wacky uncle who is still drinking your beer Turkey's great on christmas but after a whole month Of turkey pie and stew you start to dread lunch Breakfast is more frightening for all there is to eat Is fourteen christmas cakes and a bag of cranberries Have a happy christmas hangover It's the most miserable time of the year Your uncle's in the bathroom and granny's on the sofa And you start to wish that they'd just disappear You ate too many liquor-filled chocolates Got no money left in your pockets But at least you got lots of Ugly sweaters and bow ties and socks You're skin is pale and pasty, your energy is spent Along with all the money you need to pay the rent The children are all crying 'cuz they've broken all their toys Is this misery worth one day of joy? Have a happy christmas hangover It's the most miserable time of the year Your uncle has pa**ed out on granny on the sofa And you start to wish that you could disappear