Arrogant Worms - Teenage Angst lyrics

Teenagers sure look sad today Like, whatever, ramdom is all they say When I was a teen, everything was super okay I wore pants that fit, Mom tied my sweater When the cat fell down the well, I volunteered to go get her I never saw the shame in being a bed-wetter No teenage angst, not for me, no thanks I was a young Tom Hanks If the girl said no, then I kept it platonic I brought soup to the kids whose diseases were chronic My friends did d** but I was hooked on phonics The dancing I did was devoid of slammin' I loved the work of Lionel Richie, he was totally jammin' I did 35 hours in the 30 hour famine Always a good boy on my best behaviour Vanilla ice cream was my most favourite flavour I had a Mexican pen paly named Javier, but Mom called him Havier No teenage angst, not for me, no thanks No metal in my nose Army boots or trench coat Had a big crush on Blossom Sang along to Phil Collins If I had a ring tone It would be Sussudio Fixed the brakes on Grandma's walker Got stuffed into a locker I was a young Tom Hanks