Arrogant Worms - If I Were Prime Minister lyrics

If I were prime minister I'd transform the land All things would be glorious under my firm strong hand I'd enlarge Prince Edward Island and shrink the tax on booze If I were Prime Minister the Leafs would never lose If I were Prime Minister French and English would be gone There'd be no more two solitudes ‘cause we'd all speak Klingon And I'd give my buddies jobs they weren't qualified for Wait, I'm so sorry, I think that's been done before If I were Prime Minister Canadians would tan In the Gulf of Mexico where I'd move Newfoundland If I were prime Minister I would use my power To finally make the donut our official flower And I'd make it illegal to sit and b**h and whine Though that might leave Canadians with too much spare time And I would be Prime Minister if only for one flaw I don't think that I could ever live in Ottawa If I were, if I were, if I were Prime Minister If I were, if I were, if I were Prime Minister If I were, if I were, if I were Prime Minister If I were, if I were, if I were Prime Minister I'd bathe in Maple Syrup and I'd have a talking moose And Mounties would ma**age me to keep me nice and loose I'd get rid of the Queen and replace it with my cat And appointment to the Senate would be trial by combat I'd fix all the problems of our country's apparatus By granting ever person, nation status I'd encourage global warming, move the jetstream further north And I'd ban all politicians, except for me of course