Hey modern days, here we come But our feet are swollen and we got no place to stay But we hope it would still be okay 'cos we brought champagne And we thought that there must be sleeping bags (in this very modern day) But we're all very proud to be here today The first of a thousand million modern days 'Cos it's a scam, it's a royal kind of wham-bam figure It's abrieved in the sense of being up-john and senseless It's a see-saw sickness, it's a snake-bite, low-chant jive On the century's crime Well, it's a scam, it's a royal kind of wham-bam figure It's abrieved in the sense of being up-john and senseless It's a see-saw sickness, it's a snake-bite, low-chant jive On the century's crime Hey modern days, we are taken a-back We're a flame and a-gog, aloof and inhaled With a don-don briefcase, oh, wait for our call And I therefore shall declare That the stores shall be locked no more (no more), no more, (no more) Why shall men suffer, why shall there be freaks? Why am I still rehearsing a song when I oughta sleep? 'Cos it's a scam, it's a royal kind of wham-bam figure It's abrieved in the sense of being up-john and senseless It's a see-saw sickness, it's a snake-bite, low-chant jive On the century's crime Well, it's a scam, it's a royal kind of wham-bam figure It's abrieved in the sense of being up-john and senseless It's a see-saw sickness, it's a snake-bite, low-chant jive On the century's crime Oh, chin-batty dour face, why did you go there? Sitting on a cold stone, waiting for the train home Hoping it would carry me home Hoping you would carry me home Well, it's a scam, it's a royal kind of wham-bam figure It's abrieved in the sense of being up-john and senseless It's a see-saw sickness, it's a snake-bite, low-chant jive On the century's crime It's a scam, it's a royal kind of wham-bam figure It's abrieved in the sense of being up-john and senseless It's a see-saw sickness, it's a snake-bite, low-chant jive On the century's crime Chin-batty dour face, why did you go there? Sitting on a cold stone, waiting for the train home Hoping that the wind blows in the right direction Hoping someone's calling, offering protection Chin-batty dour face, why did you go there? Sitting on a cold stone, waiting for the train home Hoping that the wind blows in the right direction Hoping someone's calling, offering erection