Antifreeze - Holding Back lyrics

Seems like I have to change my life It's on my shoulders today But how can I go about my change when I'm used to my old ways? For awhile I could hide Pretend that nothing bothered me I thought that would make it better But I can't hide forever What do you expect from me? I'm not trying to hold back I've heard this all before After all that I've said, You don't understand me Just don't take it personally I'm insecure playing love's games My past relationships to blame Still I can't just stand aside Watching life pa**ing me by Absorbing every word you said I know it's not what you had planned I hope one day you'll understand