[Verse 1] Sink, a sandwich in a bag A skinny myrtle flag I'll never whittle to the city's biggest drag Opportunities arise My finances disguise I live in moments' lips and can account for sighs [Chorus 1] Nobody ever told me that my fun would outrun me It's Mother's Day and I have no money A hug and a kiss, I'm forgiven for this somehow [Verse 2] Won't give myself a break throughout a stomachache Life's brutish and short That's how I'll eat this steak Nothing grows again in pockets lined with salt And if it all perplexes me I'll see it was my fault [Chorus 2] My wit's end's bacon and my eggs are runny It's Mother's Day and I have no money A hug and a kiss, she looks past this somehow [Bridge] I call in sick like I won a prize, I beam with pride Mugging myself, I wear no disguise Spread out my winnings and cried I have this dream where she's blind to me, white-eyed House on Haunted Hill I can't look you in the eye You take care of me, and I won't know why [Chorus 3] I wrote a song full of jokes, all of them unfunny It's Mother's Day and I have no money She smiles and insists I'm forgiven for this somehow