Anne Heaton - Black Notebook lyrics

I'm going to open up my black notebook to see what I might find/ I'm going to open up my black notebook to the very last entry to find I fell in love with a woman that day Oh I fell in love with a woman that day and it made me feel ugly 'cause we're the same except she's so much better/ We're the same, she's better, yes She cuts to my heart like no man could ever do 'cause every bit of healing or giving in is guarded/ She cuts to my heart like no man could ever do 'cause she knows I'm not a victim I'm going to open up my black notebook to the very first page to find I fell into a hate with you that day/ You never took me as I was/ When I was sad you made me bigger/ When I was too happy you said it figured I like the fire in your daring eyes/ But your grip on me has made me wither/ I know where you learned this always wanting more/ Haven't we been through this lesson before?/ You learned it from your mother and her from her mother before She cuts to my heart like no man could ever do 'cause every bit of healing or giving in is guarded/ She cuts to my heart like no man could ever do 'cause she knows I'm not a victim Rosemary, Rosemary, Rosemary, I'm reaching for you/ How did it come to be that the keepers were hated?/ A woman says to me "don't make me feel guilty, not again"/ I say "don't look to me for approval and I won't look to you anymore"/ I won't look to you (I'll just love you) look to you (how I love you)/ How did it come to be that the keepers were hated? What we don't like about ourselves we toss around and pa** to someone else/ We are all tied up in each other/ I can't distinguish my frame/ If you were my mother, you'd say "let's do it today"/ If you were my grandmother, you'd say "I'll make everything okay"/ If you were my girlfriend, you'd say "I almost like you"/ If you were my sister, my neighbor, or my best friend, we'd all be talking at once, we'd all have two cents Two cents of security in our bag