Andy Wiswell - I'm Calm lyrics

[HYSTERIUM, spoken] Calm? Yes, calm. Musn't get exited Calm? Calm? (sung) I'm calm I'm calm I'm perfectly calm I'm utterly under control I haven't a worry: Where others would hurry I stroll I'm calm I'm cool A gibbering fool Is one thing I never become When thunder is rumbling And others are crumbling I hum Hm--hmmm--hmmmmm!!!!! HMMMMM!!!! H-M-M-M!!!! I must think calm comforting things bu*terfly wings Emerald rings Or a murmuring brook Murmuring, murmuring, murmuring...look I'm calm I'm calm I haven't a qualm I'm utterly under control Let nothing confuse me Or faze me-- [yawn] -- Excuse me I'm calm Oh so calm Oh so-- [PSEUDOLUS (offstage):] Hysterium! [HYSTERIUM] I'm calm I'm calm I'm perfectly calm Indifferent to tensions and shocks Unruffled and ready My nerves are as steady As rocks I'm calm, controlled So cool that I'm cold Aloofer than any giraffe When something's the matter Where others would shatter I laugh. [Laughs hysterically] I must breathe deep, ever so deep Think about sheep Going to sleep Stop and count up to ten, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9... When you need aplomb And want to be calm 'Cause life is a horrible dream Just count up to ten Very slowly, and then 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9... [PSEUDOLUS (offstage):] Hysterium! [HYSTERIUM] Scream... [screams]