Andy Prieboy - Cannot Not lyrics

She don't want my drug history My AIDS test or my twelve steps or my years of therapy She don't wanna go to my boudoir Go through my vaudeville trunk It don't matter if I'm clean and sober or dirty and drunk It don't matter if I'm kicking that gong around Or if I'm sick in the hall Ringing her bell knocking on her door Kicking that crazy ball It don't matter if I change my hairdo to something she might like She tells me I'm a nice man Take a nice long hike I get the message I'm a fly on her wall She does not want me at all You cannot not want me you cannot not want me you cannot not want me at all This play I've composed cannot be closed I can't let that curtain fall Sometimes I get the feeling there was something that I missed If she'd just explain to me I could put my heart to rest You know I paint her sketch her I go where I might catch her I talk to her spirit And dream that she can hear it I get the message she won't take my calls She does not want me at all You cannot not want me you cannot not want me you cannot not want me at all This play I've composed cannot be closed I can't let the curtain fall I've stood in the rain of My own tears and shame It never sinks in my skull I am how God made me I'd rather you hate me Then not matter at all She don't buy my suicide scares When I call up and say nothing seein' who she might have in there She don't know how much it matters she can't feel how much it hurts She don't know life could be better she don't know just what I'm worth She don't know I'm in a panic of erotic toxic shock I am sunk like the Titanic on the bottom on the rocks I pray she might be testing The strengthen my affection Sometimes I pray It just all goes away I get the message; I'm a fly on her wall She does not want me at all You cannot not want me you cannot not want me you cannot not want me at all This play I've composed cannot be closed I can't have that curtain fall I've stood on the stage Of my own tears and rage Why won't it sink in my skull I am how God made me I'd rather you hate me Then not matter at all