I'm sick of those pretty boys Checkin' their mirrors Waxin' their ball hairs (Uh-ah, uh-oh) I'm sick of those rocker boys They're always cheatin' With girls who are younger (Uh-ah, uh-oh) Yeah! A guy who won't talk sh** about me on Twitter Cause he don't know what the f** that is Oh, yeah! I'm lookin' for a guy who has some experience tonight Uh-oh Hey! I'm sick of young dudes I wanna guy who's 82 He can put up with me Cause he served in World War 2 He thinks I can sing Cause he's got real bad hearing He's a little racist So I gotta hide my black friends from him He's 82, oooh He's 82, oooh oooh oooh Chill out with his old friends sh**ting in our Depends Takin' medications (Uh-ah, uh-oh) Yeah! After this we gonna have a big lemon party, tonight Uh oh I'm sick of young dudes I wanna guy who's 82 He has so many age spots I thought they were tattoos His family can't hate me Cause they're all R I P When we have s** he screams "b**h who's your Granddaddy?" Cause he's 82, oooh 82, oooh oooh oooh Yeah! [Aunt Hilda:] There's that b**h that stole our husbands [Taylor and Larry:] [gasp] [Aunt Hilda:] Let's k** her! [Old ladies:] Yeah! We'll get beat up by women who are 82 Holy sh** there's blood everywhere That Asian one knows kung-fu
It feels like one of those nights We got our a** kicked It feels like one of those nights I lost my vision It feels like one of those nights Internal bleeding My legs lost feeling I'm sick of fighting [Aunt Hilda:] Oh, why? You too scared to die, b**h? [Taylor:] Larry is an adult. Let's let him decide who he wants to be with [Aunt Hilda:] Ugh, fine! Who do you want to be with, Larry? [Larry] I-I-I. I ch-ch-ch-chchoose... [dies] [Aunt Hilda:] [gasp] [Taylor:] Oh my God! [Aunt Hilda:] Taylor! Did you not give him his 8 o'clock heart pill? [Taylor:] 8 o'clock heart pill? Ugh, that sounds like so much responsibility [Aunt Hilda:] Ugh, it really is [Taylor:] Hashtag, no, thank you [Aunt Hilda:] Hashtag, I agree girlfriend [Taylor:] Hashtag, you're kinda cute [Aunt Hilda:] Hashtag, I'm not a monkey, but I'll swing that way [Taylor:] Hashtag, I don't really know what you mean about the monkey thing, but hashtag, I'm in [Aunt Hilda:] [excited gasp] Hey! Sick of guys like him Let's just be lesbian Enough of this silly fighting Let's get to scissoring Screw all these stupid guys Let's have a good time Screw all these stupid guys Let's go out tonight Screw all these stupid guys I'll give girls a try Let's have a good time Let's have a good time!