Gray hair, gla**es, suitcase
Humble, clever
Constantly working for peace
Uganda, Congo
And the Oslo treaty plan
Oh my God, what a plan
Not as famous as Gahr Støre
Not a daddy's boy like Jens
But when hand grenades are flying
There's just one man you can trust
[Refrain 1]
When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland
The United Nations superhero man
Mad dictator with a gun
Send in Jan Egeland
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland
[Verse]
Blue eyes, firm hands, nice legs
Clean shaved body
Drinking his protein shakes
Spray-tan, skin cream
And bu*tocks like he was eighteen
He's a peacekeeping machine
And he stares, into the mirror
Flexing muscles in the night
And says "Boy, I think you're ready
To protect some human rights"
[Refrain 2]
When there's war and all is hell
Bring in Jan Egeland
The United Nations Superhero man
He plays golf with Kofi Annan
And looks at maps with George Cloon
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland
When he's sad he goes to funerals
In unusually heavy rain
Large amounts of water in his face
But that doesn't hide his pain
He breaks down just like a h*mo
And starts crying just like a girl
But I guess you can cry and still be a man
If your dayjob is saving the world
[Refrain 3]
When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland
He's a macho musclepumping crying god
If there's one man you should trust
It is the Janny-boy
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland