[MRS JOHNSTONE]
Once, I had a husband
You know the sort of chap
I met him at a dance
And how he came on with the chat
[MR JOHNSTONE]
You dancin'? I think you're a bleedin' cracker!
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
He said my eyes were deep blue pools
My skin as soft as snow
He told me I was s**ier than Marilyn Monroe
And we went dancing
We went dancing
Then, of course, I found that I was six weeks overdue.
[MR JOHNSTONE]
You what?!
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
We got married at the registry,
And then we had a do
We all had curly salmon sandwiches
And how the ale did flow
They said the bride was lovelier than Marilyn Monroe
[ALL]
And we went dancing
We went dancing
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
Then the baby came along
We called him Darren Wayne
Then three months on I found that I was in the club again
[MR JOHNSTONE]
I've married a bleedin' rabbit!
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
And though I still fancied dancing,
My husband wouldn't go
With a wife he said
Was twice the size of Marilyn Monroe
No more dancing.
No more dancing.
By the time that I was twenty-five,
I looked like forty-two.
With seven hungry mouths to feed,
And one more nearly due.
My husband, he walked out on me
A month or two ago
For a girl who they say looks a bit like Marilyn Monroe
And they go dancing
They go dancing.
Yes, they go dancing
They go dancing.