MENDEL
Jason
I am agitato grande
Jason, I am muy disgutante
And muy disappointe
And muy nauseatus
And me mitzraim
Hotzionoo
Dayenu
Everyone hates his parents
Don't be ashamed
You'll grow up
You'll come through
You'll have kids
And they'll hate you too
Oh, everyone hates his parents
But, I confess
You grow up
You get old
You hate less
JASON
But I don't want it
Nothing that gives them pleasure I'll do
I don't want a bar mitzvah
Stupid bar mitzvah
Any bar mitzvah
Would You?
MENDEL
Everyone hates his parents
That's in the Torah
It's what history shows
In fact, God said to Moses:
"Moses, everyone hates his parents
That's how it is!"
And God knew
Because God hated His
MARVIN
You are going to k** your mother
Don't feel guilty, k** your mother
Rather than humiliate her
k**ing your mother
Is the merciful thing to do
TRINA
Jason, darling, don't get nervous
I'm right here, and at your service
Look how calm and self-deluded
Grateful, 'cause I know
You'll do what I pray you'll do
MARVIN
Go ahead and k** your mother
TRINA
Not with guns, but k** your mother
MARVIN AND TRINA
Rather than humiliate her
k**ing your mother
Is the merciful thing to do
MENDEL
Everyone hates his parents
Now, I see why!
But in time
They'll cool out
And you'll think
They were only fooling
It's a strange thing about parents
Push turns to shove
What was hate
Becomes more or less love
MARVIN AND TRINA
Jason, please see a psychiatrist
MENDEL
I'm a psychiatrist.Get lost
Call the Applebaums. Work it out. Pick a beautiful centerpiece
Everyone hates his parents
This too shall pa**
You'll grow up
JASON
I'll come through
I'll have kids
MENDEL
And they'll hate you too
MENDEL AND JASON
Oh, Everyone hates his parents
MENDEL
But kid I guess
You'll grow up
JASON
I'll grow up
MENDEL
You'll get old
JASON
I'll get old
MENDEL AND JASON
And hate less
JASON
Flip me!
MENDEL
You got it!
JASON
Whoo!
MENDEL AND JASON
And hate less