[Intro]
This song is about someone who is very... "darling" to me
[Verse 1]
When I'm alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall
The one on which my television's installed
Clarissa, I wish you could be with me
Be like Ringu; crawl out of the TV
When I close my eyes, you're in my dreams
You wear something different in every scene
Yes, you're the woman of my fantasies
I want you to show me what "Na Na" means
[Hook]
Clarissa (Clarissa, Clarissa, Clarissa)
Clarissa (Clarissa, Clarissa, Clarissa)
[Verse 2]
I'm 32 and you're just 16
Though in real life you're the same age as me
You think you're adopted; I think so too
Everyone in your family is ugly but you
But you, you look like a princess
If I was a Darling, I would wanna have incest
That episode where you bought lingerie
And tried to return it, saying it was a mistake
If you were with me, you wouldn't need to feel embarra**ed
You could model it for me while lying on my mattress
Clarissa, you make my heart throb
I'm watching the one where you had four jobs
And even though those are too much for you
There are more than four jobs I want you to do
[Hook]
Clarissa (Clarissa, Clarissa, Clarissa)
Clarissa (Clarissa, Clarissa, Clarissa)
[Verse 3]
You're at the computer with your joystick
While I'm imagining the controller's my dick
You look so cute in your ballerina outfit
But what can I do to get you out of it?
Even though you're on Nickelodeon
You're a frequent cause of my dick's explosion
Clarissa, I know you explain it all
But can you explain this ache in my balls?
("When you're in love, strange things happen to all sorts of body parts")
...Thanks
At dawn you hear the ladder hit your window
You say ("Hi Sam!") but it's me comin' in, doe
At first you're kinda scared, I caught you unprepared
You were still changing and in your underwear
But I comfort you, like "Girl, it's okay"
I hold you close until your fears melt away
I lead you past your checkered wall
Unhook your bra and let it fall
Then I bend you over the cage for your lizard
...And get up in your gizzard
But before i make my deposit
I lay you on the floor of your walk-in closet
I'm all, "Damn, how big is this thing?
No, I mean your closet, but thanks all the same"
While I'm at it, you look at the cam
Narrate the scene, and draw a diagram
Of my cum's trajectory
As it splatters off your face and hits the clothes next to me
That night, I give you a golden pa**
To get eaten out whenever you ask
Yeah, just let me know when
And how many fingers, one through ten
[Hook]
Clarissa (Clarissa, Clarissa, Clarissa)
("I'm figuring... ten, twelve tops")
Clarissa (Clarissa, Clarissa, Clarissa)
("My sweatshirt's still wet from when you squirted me this morning")