[Intro]
There's some punk going around trying to resurrect ideas that have been extinct for half a century. His name is Moon Man, and what he doesn't realize is I'm about to do some resurrecting of my own. Hey Moon Man:
[Verse 1]
Remember how you bragged about lynching all those folks
In those lazy songs with those failed attempts at jokes?
I'ma head to the forest and cut 'em all free
And then perform a ritual of necromancy
Watch them rise from the dead through the power of Hecuba
An army at my command, and I make them have s** with ya
45 bodies all formed in a line
So they can get revenge on you three at a time
You wanted to be like Mac Tonight
But all you got was f**ed by some blacks tonight
You should know that your flow is as poor as your morals
You can't even rap with a computer rappin' for ya
Listen to me, and how I'm rapping right now
You hear how I speed it up and then slow it down?
If you don't figure out how to incorporate some meter
I'ma skin your a** with my potato peeler
[Hook 1]
Blood on my shoes, blood on my shoes
I'll have your blood on my shoes
Blood on my shoes, blood on my shoes
White blood all on my shoes
Yeah. Next topic:
[Verse 2]
How will you get a woman when you're anti-feminism?
None of them will like you, there's no way you'll get up in 'em
You'll probably stay a virgin 'til 2033
Based on my a**umption that you're currently 14
True, when it comes to ladies, I haven't been so lucky
Back there in the forest was the first time someone touched me
Moon, I can't believe it. You're finally rapping better
I feel like Annie Sullivan and you are Helen Keller
Yes, helping me learn was an enormous task
But if it's not too much trouble, I have one more thing to ask
You're correct when you say that I'm lonely and sad
Isn't there a romance you can find for me to have?
I don't think it's possible, I'm sorry to tell
Given your views, not to mention your smell
Wait, you said something about 2033
Maybe you could take me there with a time machine?
As a matter of fact, I do have one of those
Can you share it with me? Well, I suppose
You just wait here while I get it, understand?
On my walk over, I formulate some plans
[Verse 3]
I return to the forest to grab one of those ropes
I tie one end to my time machine, the other to your throat
I drag you through time, not the way you expected
We're not going forward, but the other direction
This machine's headed to like eighty years ago
Right to Germany, so you can meet your stupid hero
The moment you see him, you start swooning
Having no idea of the danger that is looming
While you're telling him he's your inspiration
I decapitate him, demonstrate exsanguination
Now I've got twice as much blood on my shoes
And I'm still not through with you
You're gonna get raped for a second time
But I don't wanna touch you, I'll use Hitler's dick instead of mine
I cut off his legs
I bring em around to ya, and then you get pegged
How you gonna keep writing raps
After all this banging makes your rectum prolapse?
After half an hour when I'm finally done plowin' ya
I turn Hitler upside down and evacuate his bowels on ya
Then we take a trip back to 1910
So you can meet your friends in the Ku Klux Klan
You think they'll think you're cool, but based on what they see
They mistake you for black, you're still soaked in Hitler's feces
They're like "Hey let's lynch him," and I think I'll let 'em
But I say, "Stop. I want to be the one to get 'im."
Watching you hang would have been poetic justice
But I have bigger plans than getting you murdered in public
I pull you by the rope back into the time machine
And this time it's set to the 1940s
The ride's a little rocky so you ask me to drive slow
But I'm like, "Nah," and I piss on you through the window
When we finally arrive I untie your noose
I kick you in the face for fun before letting you loose
You stretch out your arms and breathe in the sweet air
You're like, "Have I found my home? Am I finally there?
A place and time where everybody shares my mind?
The southern United States in 1945?"
But then you look some more and you almost can't believe
The street signs aren't in English, they're in Japanese
"Is that a bird in the sky?" Once again, you are wrong
You're in Hiroshima. That's the atomic bomb
I hop back in my machine to escape just in time
My only regret is I wasn't there to watch you die
But I do have one souvenir:
[Hook 2]
Blood on my shoes, blood on my shoes
Lunar blood all on my shoes
Blood on my shoes, blood on my shoes
Now I have to buy new shoes
[Outro]
Seriously. These ones are ruined. Now that they're tainted with your DNA, I couldn't give these sh**s away. Alright Waldfield is out of here. Shoutouts to YaBoyNicky, to EwokABDevito, and to the whole Genius crew. Genius.com really is a better website than YTMND when you think about it