We sailed upon the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was a who*e in bed
The mast an upright penis The captain's name was Lugger
By Christ he was a bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel sh**
From one ship to another And the second mate was Andy
By Christ he had a dandy
Till they crushed his co*k on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy The third mate's name was Morgan
By God he was a gorgon
From half past eight he played till late
Upon the captain's organ The captain's wife was Mabel
And by God was she able
The crew, those sh**s, nailed her tits
Right to the mess room table The captain's daughter Charlotte
Was born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night were lily white
By morning they were scarlet The cabin boy was Kipper
By Christ he was a nipper
He stuffed his a** with broken gla**
And circumcised the skipper The captain's lovely daughter
Liked swimming in the water
Delighted squeals came when some eels
Found her s**ual quarters The cook his name was Freeman
And he was a dirty demon
And he fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen And the ship's dog was called Rover
And we turned the poor thing over
And ground and ground that faithful hound
From Teneriff to Dover When we reached our station
Through sk**ful navigation
The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk
From too much fornication On the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was a who*e in bed
s**ing a dead man's penis