It was more fun in hell
But I'm looking for heaven now
I hope you're happy
I'm not happy are you happy?
I'm not happy
And often times at night I wonder
What you're doing where you're at
If you're happy if you're safe
While I try to understand
Something in me just wasn't ready
Done, had enough let's stop pretending
Endings and continuations
Letting go begin living
Destiny wouldn't let me leave
Stuck too many nights
Alone isn't where I want to be
So I took a trip up north
I hope you realize I don't respect you
What a tragedy her past will always consume
Wasn't faithful wasn't thankful
All appreciation wasted
Shaking the way she made me feel so stupid
No care, remorse, and unshameful
The world just wasn't meant for us
Only purpose was ourselves
Guess I wasn't thorough enough
Time couldn't tell me any different
Resilient
Distanced myself from the feelings
Inner sense was always listening
Deviating from the secrets
Have you ever had to fake your intuition?
Evil Imagination written page by page
Our experience is gained from the waves we break
At high tide denied the feelings that I felt
Manipulating my mind in front of the fire
Just so she could watch me melt
Pa**ing away
I'm pa**ing away now
My life is an art and d**h is its project
I spend my days decorating my coffin
Remember you said I was your happy ending
Imagined it different
We can pretend still can't we?
Reinvest in the tragic friendship we left with
Undo the damage imagery letting go of the memories
Hell was in my heart to begin with
Heaven so far and distant
But I miss it
Every second that ticks I trick myself
Into thinking the prison I live in is only a cell
Can we really tell a difference?
More and more complex it gets
The best of it's experience
That's all anything really ever is or isn't
Forever is only the present
Nothing else exists
The seconds get more intense
The closer they crawl upon us
Stronger the dark hole begins to twist
Holds us in its grip
Alone is where you want to be now
We're only slowing us down
When everything is within pretend and the road is without
The motivation we envisioned inspiration is found
You could never be a friend because hell was too convincing
Heaven the only thing I'm missing
And I'm pa**ing away
Pa**ing away now
I made it to those gates but my key was rusted
Evidently the rain doesn't want me to come in
It wouldn't fit and once again
My dreams went missing
Sometimes we think that this journey is for nothing
Resistance is not natural
You gotta give to let it go
Just know it's a lot like leaving bloody footprints in the snow
Look for the path in the road as it slopes
Damaging the soul is to grow
But only if you get it back
And she doesn't take more than what you had
Leaving less than what you have to add
She was right you went left never minding the mess
As you juggle time to reflect
Recollect all the events remanufacturing the months
Ultimately divide yourself up into past seconds
Running for the nearest exit
I need to ask some better questions
Leaving the answers in the hands of heaven
Hell just came so highly recommended
You're pa**ing away
Pa**ing away now