Now Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired
Temporarily lazy and permanently tired
A leg at every corner balancing his head
And a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed
Riley slyly said we've underrated it, why not train it, then they took a rag
They rubbed it, scrubbed it, they oiled and embrocated it
Got it at the post and when the starter dropped the flag
There was Riley pushin' it, shovin' it, shushin' it
Hogan, Logan and everyone in town
Lined up, attackin' it and shovin' it and smackin' it
They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down
The donkey was eyein' them, openly defyin' them
Winkin', blinkin' and twistin' out of place
Riley reversin' it, everybody cursin' it
The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race
The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch
They couldn't move the donkey a quarter of an inch
Delaney lay exhausted, hangin' round his throat
With a grip just like a Scotsman on the five pound note
Starter, Carter, he lined up with the rest of them
When it saw them, it was willin' then
It raced up, braced up, ready for the best of them
They started off to cheer it but it changed its mind again
And there was Riley pushin' it, shovin' it, shushin' it
Hogan, Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw
She started pokin' it an' grabbin' it an' chokin' it
It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed hee-hah
The whigs and conservatives, the radical superlatives
Liberals and tories, they hurried to the place
Stood there in unity, helpin' the community
The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race
The crowd began to cheer it, then Rafferty, the judge
He came up to a**ist them, but still it wouldn't bud