That fateful day I pa**ed through an alley off the Avenue
A shadow pushed me into you - you asked me for a dance
Demanded moonlight romance
Well tell me what's a lonely girl to do?
With a real tenacious guy, a gum-chewing spy
A stalker with a gla**y eye
How could you show me all your tricks
Then ask me not to spit
Your candy bullets back at you?
Gumshoe... THAT'S YOU!
If I'm a train on the tracks
Then you're the hobo on my back
You're a parasitic free-loading rat!
I call you Clyde, cause you're a mack
In your coat and your pilfered hat
Hunting Bonnies with your rat-a-tat-tat
You're sticky, sweet as can be
Like taffy, you're stuck all over me - GUMSHOE!
I think you need another clue - here's one for you:
I'm the train on the tracks
And you're the hobo on my back
You're an unrelenting blood-s**ing gnat!
A politician in the sack, flipping words like an acrobat
Well you get my vote you make a cra** diplomat!
Your words are cheap, oh so sugary sweet
Like little candy leeches you spit out on the street
They snag my heels, to beg for bigger meals
You'd like them s**ing on my injuries
Oh gumshoe, is it really true?
You trade your friendships for this kind of fun?
You've got so much love for your adrenalin rush
That stale and sugar-coated spineless stuff
GUMSHOE! That's what you do
If I'm a racehorse on the tracks
I've got a monkey on my back
Better shake him fast or I'll be finishing last!
You gambled love to win, you gambled love to lose
That's how you gambled off my interest in you
You're sticky, sweet as can be
Like taffy, you're stuck all over me
You want to untangle my inner mysteries
But I just want to peel you off of me!
Oh gumshoe, is it really true
You trade your friendships for this kind of fun?
You've got so much love for your adrenalin rush
You could chew a bullet into tasteless mush!