Scene 3: The f**ing dungeon of rap
(Enter Stephen Niday, CHRZA, Algernon, Pio, and Vill in complete darkness)
Algernon: Yo someone turn on a light in here
Vill: There ain't no light here. Maboo took all the matches from our bags when we left
Alg: You think this is some sort of challenge?
Stephen: Ha! Like what? Who can imitate Night crawler the best?
Pio: OK, is this gallivanting brigade of horse drawn f*ggots ready to get moving? Where's mah CHRZA at?
CHRZA: (muffled) I'm back here... I'm stuck in (inaudible)
Pio: sh** where she go? CHRZA, I still feeeeel you!
Vill: Ay CHRZA you alright?
(5 second pause)
CHRZA??
Alg: CHRZA if you come out Vill will give you a bone
(Vill jokingly shoves Alg. Alg falls through a trapdoor)
Alg: OH sh*t
Vill: Alg are you alright
Alg: Damnit Vill what the f** was that for
Vill: I'm sorry I didn't mean to shove you that hard
Alg: (muffled scream)
Vill: Alg? Alg?? ALG!!
Stephen: What the f** is going on here this is strange.
Vill: Where did Pio go?
Stephen: fu*k
Vill: (hyperventilating) OK... ok... ok we need to stick together and find this RedMasta
Stephen: Alright I have an idea
(Stephen pulls out cell phone)
Stephen: I'll use this to light the way
Vill: You had that the entire time?
Stephen: Yeah... so?
Vill: You f**ing idiot. Why didn't you take that out when Alg told someone to turn on a light
Stephen: Geez I forgot. Damn chill out.
(Vill and Stephen walk until they find a huge wooden door. Stephen knocks)
RedMasta: Come in
(Vill and Stephen enter the room)
RedMasta: I've been waiting for you. What took you so long?
Vill: Listen we just want our friends back
RedMasta: Your friends??
Vill: f** you. You know what we're talking about quit playing these f**ing games.
Stephen Niday: Yeah f** you
(Red Masta flips off Stephen)
RedMasta: I couldn't give 2 sh**s about your friends.
Vill: OK sorry for the disrespect we showed you earlier. What is it going to take to get our friends back?
RedMasta: You know, many have come here in search of this map. I have asked many for one thing in return and they have all failed in their quest. I will tell you exactly what I want and if you don't give it to me within 3 days your friends will die and your map will be lost forever.
(Stephen Niday comes at RedMasta with a closed fist. RedMasta laughs menacingly)
RedMasta: Haha Stephen. I wonder what Taylor will say about this. You have a little rage in you. Good to know as it will be important on this quest
Vill: OK quit the bullsh** just tell us what you want so we can get it for you.
RedMasta hands them a dusty piece of parchment
RedMasta: Solve this riddle and find this to get your friends back
(Vill reads riddle aloud)
Vill:
Lying in an artificial environment you will
Find the object which I desire
It enlists only those who are brave and willing
To suffer from extreme despair
To untrained eyes this may seem like a hoax
But an educated person will see it as hope
For if a notion of failure becomes an option
You will adapt to a brand new concoction
One of carnage and destruction of confidence
So find a gathering of trees and understand this riddle
This item is suspected to be touched by Midas
One of small size constrained in an unnatural place
d**h has faced it for centuries
But it still lives today regardless of the prophecies
And is the key to a substantial treasure
Stephen: How the hell do we solve that?
RedMasta: Not my problem anymore. It's your turn to solve this riddle.
Stephen: This is f**ing bullsh** (Stephen's face begins to get red)
Vill: Alright now let's calm down Stephen I need you for this mission
RedMasta: Oh yeah I almost forgot I have a friend who will help you on your mission
Enter Nappy
Vill: Oh sh**. This dude is huge. How exactly is he going to help me?
RedMasta: Oh yeah one more thing I forgot to tell you. Since you are the leader I have to test your bravery. You have to go alone.
(RedMasta opens trapdoor and Stephen falls in)
RedMasta: Now it's just you and Nappy
Vill: sh** this is f**ing bullsh**. I don't even want to go on this gay a** journey anymore
RedMasta: Well then prepare to see the d**h of your four best friends. None of whom you have even f**ed yet
Vill: Shut the f** up I only want to screw one of them anyway phaggot. And Pio ain't even a friend he's my boss.
RedMasta: Alright suit yourself then
Vill: OK!! OK!! damn I'll go on this stupid a** hunt, but I expect nothing to go awry when I get back
RedMasta: IF you get back I promise you will get your friends back with no problems
Nappy: Now move the f** out of here little a** dude you're k**ing my muthaf**in vibe
RedMasta: (aside to Nappy) Remember what I told you to do Nappy
Nappy (aside to RedMasta) Yes sir. Sabotage. Complete sabotage.