[Verse 1]
Man I'm scared to even write this
How am I gonna perform this? I hope everyone adores this
When I burst through the door and
Share every feeling that I ever felt before you
Spotlight in my cornea
Now it's melting my brain, wanna hide in the corner
But I just can't afford it
If I don't leave my signature, someone will forge it
And I just can't force it, I've had my hand held too much
For the past four years, had my social life sitting in my handheld too much
And they call that avoiding the conflict, I thought I was comfortable
Cause if you don't talk to people you don't have to find out they don't f** with you
Tryna keep my self esteem up, but the truth
In this world, you won't survive in this world
Cause you can't shine like them diamonds and pearls
Mama wonder why I have trouble finding a girl
Cause the female language is kinda like some riddle sh**
And this Twitter sh** starts to get intimate
I admit, hit this chick up for a little bit
Slid into the DMs, like "baby I'm the BM"
So maybe could you give me your heart
Or at least just hit that like bu*ton
You could be my shining star
Cause the favorite tell me that you like something
Hear voices and new faces, starts to get scary then
Like I'm so used to being alone, I never had imaginary friends
A deer caught in the headlights
Tryna get the head right, so I'm here every night
All my homies looking fresh
And they slick with the sh**s
What I gotta do to get like, get like
You? I wanna get like you
This skin I'm stained in tryna change it
Behind that, it's hollow and vacant
Strangled in chains til I fade into vapor
Cause it's water were made of
And I'm drowning every day
And I'm thinking the easiest way is just getting away
Instead of face it, like I always say it, but it's nothing true
I been saying this over and over, still ain't nothing new
Can't judge a man by his words but his actions
God-damn, I have not the former, neither the latter
So what do I have now?
This presentation
And all of this personal sh** that I've been facing
Just face it
Been telling myself to just face it
And I always wanna tell her
One day it'll get better
Cause I been through what you been through
You just gotta keep your head up
But I don't really know her like that
So when I get the urge, I fight that
Why am I always like that?
Insecurities k** me, I gotta fight back
But I'm just too God-damn afraid
Why am I always so afraid?