[Intro: Tom Delonge]
Unos, dos, tres, cuatro
[Verse 1: Mark Hoppus]
When you f**ed grandpa, did he tell you that he loved you
Did he hold you 'till the sun did rise
And did he look into your eyes
And ask you to fel**te him, and stick a finger or two in his a**
[Chorus: Mark]
He seems like a total a**hole
Grandpa is a total f**ing a**hole
Who would ever want a dirty, greasy finger in his a**?
He rubs his dick in broken gla**
[Verse 2: Mark]
When you f**ed grandpa did he kiss you soft and tender?
Did he tie your hands behind your head
And was it on your mother's bed?
[Interjection over Chorus: Mark]
This is f**ing stupid man
I can't believe you'd have s** with your own grandfather
I mean, you guys are related!
What's he going to do?
Take out his false teeth and just leave them on the side of your bed?
Man, you like to f** him in the bu*t and
Have people come in and watch and masturbate
And cum all over the place?
This is stupid. I hate you all
I'm not even going to have s** with my mom tonight, man
This is stupid!
I hate you