[Verse]
Well, I ain't very big for twenty-one
And it seems I never could have any good clean fun
Cause every time I'd go outside some great big bully'd come along
He'd hit me in the face and he'd knock to the ground
And he'd start kicking me all around
And that ain't exactly fair, friends, that's wrong
So I got me a paper the other night
And I crawled up on the sofa and I turned on the light
And flipped through the pages till I found the cla**ified ads
Said, "take karate from lee hung chow;
Man, make your first appointment now
This course is guaranteed to make you bad. "
Well, the next day I drove to the address
By Japanese design I was really impressed
It looked like a regular house
Of the rising sun
I walked inside, I was all alone
I had a nervous feeling
Down in my bones
I was kind of sorry I'd ever even come
Then a giant jape came through the door
He must have been about seven foot four
And he looked like he's prone
To easy aggravation
He said, "Lee Hung Chow, ah kee dung"
That's Japanese for fee fie foo fum
I tried to explain
My entire situation
He said, "Number one course, Yankee, self defence
Two hundred dollars and twenty-five cents"
I said, "What's the twenty five cents for?"
And he said, "Repairs"
I said, "Repairs to what?", and he said, "To you"
And I thought to myself "Man, that won't do"
Felt about a half inch tall
Under that old slender stare
Ah, you think he was yellow
I said, "I believe, I better go check another place"
He said, "Ha so, Yankee don't like my race"
I said, "Now, there's a mistake, man
And that's true"
I've been for you you Japanese all along
You Japanese just can't do no wrong
And I thought you got mighty dirty deal
In World War II
Well, he grabbed me by the hand and gave a heave
I figured there's a pretty good time to leave
Before he had a chance
To do me any definite harm
But my plan worked out in the end, you see
Now no bully is going to pick on me
Who is going to hit a fellow
With just one arm?