Well, the pizza biz ain't what it used to be,
It's a dangerous job for a boy like me.
Jay-walkers stare like you lost your mind,
Speed-traps ahead of you, muggers behind.
I've been robbed eight times at somebody's door,
I'm mad and I ain't gonna take no more,
So the next time somebody goes for the cash,
I've got a turret-mounted laser wired up to the dash.
Domino d**h, we're gonna have some fun,
Domino d**h, you better duck and run,
Domino d**h, you better do your best,
Or I'll deliver you to Hell in thirty minutes or less.
I've got an armor-plated van with a Teflon sheen,
A Plexiglas windshield, Polaroid green,
Bullet-proof tires with a Kevlar mesh,
And a hotbox to keep your pepperonis fresh.
I've got an on-board computer to do my math,
A big cow-catcher to clear my path,
And I'll fry the brains of anyone I miss --
I've got a tape of Frank Sinatra singing Grace Jones and KISS.
Domino d**h, I'm crazy as Hell,
Domino d**h, I hope you tip real well,
Domino d**h, you better watch for me,
And if you manage to survive, you get the pizza for free.
Well, you can beg and plead, but it's just no use,
I'm over the edge, I don't need an excuse,
I'll blow off your head for getting double cheese,
And I wouldn't say, "NO ANCHOVIES, PLEASE."
I keep the streets empty night and day,
Fire trucks and funerals get out of my way.
Now I'm looking around to see who I've missed,
And I guess Little Caesar's is next on the list.
Domino d**h, it's no big loss,
Domino d**h, you'd better love the sauce,
Domino d**h, just pick up the phone,
We're courteous and friendly, like Sylvester Stallone.
Domino d**h, I've got a double for you,
Domino d**h, I'll get your roommate ('family', 'neighbors', pick one), too,
Domino d**h, you'll go like the rest,
I'll deliver you to Hell in thirty minutes or less...
Or... else... it's... free!