It all started july 9th, 2018 when i woke up on my 25th birthday and realized i couldn't face the day without reaching for a drink
I had nothing to care for, no one to care about, no direction in life
A passion with no talent
That's when i turned to the mirror and noticed that the cracks in my skin started to form
I'm getting old
I guess a glimmer of hope appeared when i was offered a chance to follow my {?} career
But it just made me feel so alone
So i turned back to the mirror and continued to watch the cracks in my skin grow
This failed being was my deepest anxiety
What if i die alone
So, i just scoffed, leaving home
I turned to god just for someone to talk to
I never believed before and i still don't
But it was nice to say it out loud
At least there was one constant thing that kept me grounded and that was her
I wrote her a letter to explain how i hoped she'd never leave
By this point i realized i had become a burden to everyone around me
One thing stuck in my head, no man told asked for help
I began to remember my father who passed when i was young
And i started to think perhaps it's my turn
With such thoughts of death in my head, i started to realize
I was already dead cause i was alone
I pictured my ideal heaven
Just a beach i grew up in
With all of the people that i used to know
And i began to think of my mother
And i began to think i want to see her again
So i guess now this is just something to leave behind
I'm a mento, a token, or just something to remember me by