Betty's in a wet T-shirt, feeling foolish and vain
Looking like some house cat that got caught out in the rain
Staring into the mirror at this less-than-pretty picture
Feeling ten years older now, and fifty bucks richer
Life is hard
Can't buy happiness no matter what you do
Can't get to heaven on roller skates
Can't take a taxi cab to Timbuktu
Paul was a poor little rich boy, he never had to cry
Whenever he complained of aches and pains, the doctors would drop by
Now he goes to parlors with the prettiest girls in town
Get paid five hundred dollars just to kick him when he's down
Life is hard
Can't buy happiness no matter what you do
Can't get to heaven on roller skates
Can't take a taxi cab to Timbuktu
Life is hard
Life is hard
Life is hard
Can't buy happiness no matter what you do
Can't get to heaven on roller skates
Can't take a taxi cab to Timbuktu
After he stiffed a waitress, and ran out on his tab
Big Mac had a heart attack in the back of a yellow cab
By the time the sound of the siren said the ambulance was comin'
His heart had stopped beatin', but the meter was still runnin'
Life is hard
Can't buy happiness no matter what you do
Can't get to heaven on roller skates
Can't take a taxi cab to Timbuktu
Life is hard
Life is hard
Life is hard
Ain't no escaping when the rent comes due
Can't get to heaven on roller skates
Can't take a taxi cab to Timbuktu