don't think.. I think I repress a lot of stuff
like, not just my anxiety and stuff
but my anger and things... Like...
I- I'm really non-confrontational
So I tend not to tell people when I'm feeling cross with them and whatever, and I think surely... I suffer because I don't wanna... hurt other peoples feelings or something.
I went and saw a psychologist recently and talked to him about this, and he agreed that I need to find a way to express myself more... you know, when I feel angry with people.
So what he said I should do was write my feelings down. That way.. expressing myself without confrontation.
So I've done that, I've written some of my feelings down in a poem. I think it might help if I could do it for you guys.
The poem is called Angry.. or, or or.. in brackets feet...
Bit nervous...
Sometimes... Sometimes I get a bit angry,
But you couldn't tell.
No you couldn't tell,
unless you looked real closely.
Sometimes I get a big angry.
But it's alright,
yes it's alright,
because I keep it out of sight.
Inside,
deep inside.
I breast-fed until I was 9.
Which my ...QUACK... Doctor, says is fine.
And he also thinks I'd deal with anger better
if I wrote about myself in a poem or a letter.
My mother was a ...REAL fu*kING b*tch... caring lady.
She taught me all I know.
Although i was a little slow,
she never gave up,
she never let me ...SLAP... down.
Although she spent a lot of time
at the neighbours house when my dad was out of town.
I didn't walk 'til I was 7,
or talk 'til I was 10.
But neither did Napolean,
according to my ...QUACK fu*kING... doctor.
Who has certificates in frames
to substantiate his ..DODGY fu*kING... claims.
My father left my mother,
for the love of a ...POONTANG... nother.
And I have a ...ba*tard... brother
who I've never really known.
Because m'dad moved out to colac
BULLsh*t YOU FAT c*nt... telephone.
In primary school I had trouble making ...ASHTRAYS... friends.
An issue which has become somewhat of a trend.
The origin of which I cannot pretend
has not perplexed me.
Although my ...QUACK, fu*kING... doctor says it's cool
and that loads of ...FAT FREAKS... fu*k YOU!... kids at school
have problems with communication.
And that a course of medication
would be wise,
And combined with more honest self-expression,
could help me with my issues with emotional repression.
And at 90 bucks a session,
I think I'll take the ...THIEVING, QUACK, ba*tard... lovely chaps advice.
So I quite like ...PORN... Photography.
And books on ...GUNS... History.
and I'd like to be a ...POLITICIAN... vet.
And I feel as I get older,
I'm more in control of my violent tendencies
and when I die ...KILL... die
I'll have no regrets
And I feel that all this writing is really ...POOFY... exciting,
and my ...QUACK, DOC, QUACK, fu*kING... Doctor would be proud.
Because I feel a lot less angry,
and I'm saying stuff out loud,
and I'm letting anger out.
Like today in our last session;
when I taught the ...QUACK... c*nt a lesson.
'cuz he said I'm not progressing,
said I wasn't moving forward.
So I said, "well let's see how you move without your f**ing legs."
And I tied him to his chair,
and I pulled out my machete.
And I listened to him beg,
And then I cut his f**ing feet off.
And while he lay there bleeding,
I used his feet...
to kick him in the head.
Thank you ...GIGGLING c*ntS... very much.