The boss isn't looking, so I use my screen
For browsing an online music magazine
And there I see a thing that I can't believe
There are still band logos made with Ogilvie
'Cause me, I'm something of a typeface connoisseur
I eat chicken Wingdings with my font du jour [tofu chicken]
And I can spot your sh**ty fonts like a cheap toupee
And still blow you away with my Arial display
And when it comes to fonts, I annihilate
And when I print my fonts, I always collate
Some are narrow and condensed, others heavyweight
And I'm more gothic than any Copperplate
Hey, I've Got That Font
And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want
Hey, I've Got That Font
They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant
Hey, I've Got That Font
With bolds and italics from here to Vermont
Hey, I've Got That Font
Creepygirl and Rockwell, I'm a f**in' font savant
Hey
Hey, I've Got That Font
Hey
Hey, I've Got That Font
There are so many fonts that I recognize
Zoom in all you want, they won't pixelize
'Cause I know the good sh** from the replicas
I'll see you in Helvetica
And then a big f**ing axe will cut off your hands
You used to be serif, but now you're sans
And I got plans to make that font used by Mickey D's
I'll trace it out with the blood from where your hands used to be
I customized a font so each serif ends in a hook
But your custom font looks like gobbledygook
And that's not Eras Lite but Eras Medium that you mistook
And I'm more gothic than any Franklin Book
Hey, I've Got That Font
And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want
Hey, I've Got That Font
They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant
Hey, I've Got That Font
With bolds and italics from here to Vermont
Hey, I've Got That Font
Creepygirl and Rockwell, I'm a f**in' font savant
Hey, I've Got That Font
And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want
Hey, I've Got That Font
They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant
Hey, I've Got That Font
If there was a typeface army, then I'd be the commandant
Hey, I've Got That Font
I sell 'em to pay off my Mitsubishi Galant
Hey
Hey, I've Got That Font
Hey
Hey, I've Got That Font
Morpheus
Times New Roman
Ultraworld
Bookman Old Style
Garamond
Liquidism
Comic, Bloody, Impact
Verdana
Goudy Stout
Century Gothic
Bauhaus
Joystix
Buffy
Liquidism 2
Metal Lord
Courier New