Well, tonight you sit in our home
In a chair made of chainsawed fingers and bones
The ashes in the ash tray aren't from cigarettes
It's the charred remains of the family pet The blood drips from your face
Now, with my finger I take a taste
Granpa will be down soon
He's as fast as Jesse James and Cool Hand Luke Now, the cook's cooking up a stew
And the special ingredient is you
Stop your crying, don't make a fuss
You should be honored to be here with us
At this dead and breakfast You know what they say
An apple a day
Won't keep the d**h away
An apple a day
Won't keep the d**h away