Humphrey becomes they, of the fame the things they say He was gonna plan all the lives of modern man He knew the sound of the perfect heartbeat He knew it all when they made him top chief They he don't know how he got up the top 'Cause he's a balmpot Humphrey said it's time for the world to study mime Then he had a taught that the world should never talk He said get up spread your arms out wider Why don't you glide without using gliders I've done it twice from the highest rooftop I'm a balmpot And now that he's they he's got the right To tell us how long to sleep at night
He'll have us pay tax on Tory tops And give a Rolls Royce to tiny tots And free samples when you buy They say M*A*S*H is nice, and I've tried it once or twice I still don't like that show, it can't teach me what I know Do you believe in the things that they say? Do they apply to us all the same way? you better watch out 'cause you know that they just might Be Humphrey And now that he's they he's got the right To tell us how long to sleep at night He'll have us pay tax on Tory tops And give a Rolls Royce to tiny tots And free samples when you buy