I remove your spyware
Then remove your clothes
It's like old-school p**nos the way these hoes react
Fixing a problem up in a snap
I simply plug in the jack just like that
Then back on the 'net
They want to connect
A little nerd magic gets them nice and wet
Walk into the door with my nerdy geek squad
Like a secret agent and I'm en route
To make your PC and your s** life reboot
It's a paradox I've found it does not compute
But every ho I help just wants me when I'm through
Yes, I make house calls
Whose next? Maybe you when I knock on the door
At least pretend that you want me for my sk**s not my little Ben
That you want me for my straight-up PC knowledge
Let me fix your gear before you make my text solid
You save kids at school your money's all spent
Huffing cans of paint is an embarra**ment
But you're good for it
You work off your debt
Who says you don't get girls just messing with the 'net?
And playing with computers all day long
Spinning hard disks like DJ John
At your house no doubt I'm your mom's James Bond
Sometimes all I do is flip the switch on
[Hook]
I'm on the geek squad (geek squad)
We answer the phone
I'm on the geek squad (geek squad)
We come to your home
I'm on the geek squad (geek squad)
When you're all alone
I'm on the geek squad (geek squad)
Get ready to moan
We gonna fix you up so good
Make you feel so good
Make you say oh good only like a nerd could
They call my home like around the clock
"My homepage is meatspin?"
"I busted WinSock?"
"No more Viagra!"
"I miss your big co*k"
It keeps all ringing and I'm like "ahh, stop!"
But I got a job to do
[?] to see it through
I pledge exile from DLL hell
Got my bag draw my bug and I do it very well
"How'd you do that?" is a favorite question
Well, I googled the problem and followed directions
"Where'd you learn that?" is a favorite question
Well I googled positions and followed my erection
I followed that clue right toward you, hottie
Made you scream "ay ya" like doing karate
Fix your computer like I was Scotty
Then I Captain Kirk ya and rock ya body
Humpty-hump you, logically
So much so they call me Spock G
G for garby, Spock for Vulcan
They even call me when sh**'s not broken
Horny housewives are an old cliche
We even get calls from guys these days
I try to help but I don't swing that way
But some Asians so it's all okay
I learned long ago that power is knowledge
Working sororities, pay for college
And kept me busy like daily nightly
I felt directly what they fix be
If you got a problem well I got what it takes
Cause when I stroke the keys they call me Bill Gates
If your computers broke you're a lonely mom
When I'm getting head they call me Steve Jobs
They call me Bryce Case cause I always get in
And I'm so damn they call me IBM
And when their memory broke down because of a crash
And my janes just call me YT trash
[Repeat hook]
[YTCracker]
When the record touch the needle
Catch you pulling up in my black and white beetle
Waving at the people
Hey how you're doing?
I'm freaking Nick Burns move out the way
Let me fix this today
Whip out my Leathermen
Is that a screw? Let me get that for you
Yes I know that you do
Want a nerd in your life? Here's my card
Give me a call after 8 when I'm off
I move the gadgets and ish to my trunk
You can get cozy and sit right up front
I will let you play with my stereo
And I'll teach you to work it correctly you know
Like a pro I'm the captain just call up my squad
Reread the card call the top number
The Former Fat Boys will come by in slumber
Party with YT yes XBox all nighty
[Repeat hook]