My little sister had a gla** of wine No doubt a gla** of wine too many "I bet he's out right now with his Nazi who*e That's right, I said it, that's what she is, and when he Finally saunters back at three or four, Don't let him in, put the chain on the door." But of course I'd let him in, the jerk. Now my silly little sister went to some vlachos coffee-grind reader Ad had a gypsy glint in her eye when she'd smirk "Since that's how you feel, I know what to do Make sure she gets fixed before she takes him from you." It's a hot August night and my sister and I are creeping down south Halsted Towards a storefront past a storefront stoop and a moon And a star and a placard that says Madame Maria's. "Tell me your troubles, But five dollars first." That's what she said And of course, I thought the worst Charlatan, phony Fraud gypsy b**h whose Greek was bad and English was worse I held tight to my purse My sister did the talking and I looked down And tapped my foot and sort of twisted on one heel. Madame pointed to corner And twisted her shawl, Uncovered a dusty old crystal ball I peered in despite myself Somewhere on some love seat, my husband was there Paying court to his mistress and stroking her hair I saw it for myself "I can't believe it!" I cried Madame Maria said, "Well, I had a notion So before you came in, I prepared half a potion Now you must do the other half I wrote you a list You must get seven part-silver curses made special out of bullet bits by some Pollock I know in Evergreen Park And dip them in the potion and drop them in Buckingham Fountain at 3:13 on Friday morning And then she'll be gone, you'll be rid of her!" Quick, for the potion, we have to get three dozen crabapples that fell off a raggedy old tree right in the southwestern corner of Columbus Park! Faster, we have to go up to Caputo's Produce and Fruit Market on Harlem and get the garden snake that lives in the banana bin! Hurry, we have to get the mercury out of the old thermometer they have through the north-facing doors To the left by the shoe-shine boys in the lobby of the Monadnock building! And don't be late, for you must get the silver out of the teeth of one George Karmalitis Who as we speak lies dead under a dirty wool blanket in the basement of the morgue of Laretto hospital The silver teeth of a man k**ed by a jealous wife! I wasn't always an old maid I didn't always walk down the street And have the children yell at me Spinny Spinny the Spinster And try to knock the hat off my head I had a fiancee, or he led me to believe I'd soon be his fiancee And I did believe him, as I had every right to And I'd put on my best dress and we'd go dance at all the dances And I'd never let the boys from the barracks cut in They'd come out of Great Lakes, usually straight off the farm anyway
And I'd never really let any of the country club beaus get a chance Those cream-colored summer suits were never cut to my taste anyhow And those Hyde Park fraternity fellas were out as a matter of course I don't enjoy a man in red, so certainly not maroon, that's for sure I only had eyes for my guy, see But one night he had said he wouldn't be able to take me As he hurt his shoulder and had his arm in a sling But I went anyway and saw him with another woman And she was wearing his ring The silver still smelled and smelted down quick into the copper or lead or whatever else it was And when the metal was still soft and hot you'd engrave the curse into it with a stylus from an old whale bone I thought for a second of what I might write Something a little different, but with the correct sort of spite One of them asked panayia mou to make that blonde's hair fall straight out The potion was ready back at my apartment And my sister and I mumbled and crossed ourselves when we dropped the curses in And I thought of my husband My husband and her And I thought of me and him, of what we were I thought of our wedding day And I was happy, very simply happy Do you hear it A modest young woman's simple contentment It's probably a sunny day, and I think it was The birds were chirping And I felt like I was dancing on air But not very far off the ground I wonder if I knew even then that things wouldn't always be perfect That one day he'd seek solace in the arms of another woman And that to win him back, to win him back, I'd have to do this 3:11!, 3:12!, 3:13! On a hot August night everyone is asleep But the crows were watching, witching and my temple was twitching Twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch Fountain, sweet fountain Fountain, sweet fountain Let your water react and turn the curses to fact and come true Fountain, sweet fountain Fountain, sweet fountain Let your water react and turn the curses to fact and come true And they do The instant we dropped them in, our hearts started to race And a wind came up off the lake; make no mistake, we felt something released out into the city And I swore And I swooned As I swept back somehow to Austin, I don't remember how Scared of what I had wrought But terrified, I didn't get what I had sought Oh Jimmy, where you been so long Oh Jimmy, where you been so long Oh Jimmy, where you been so long Oh Jimmy, where you been so long Oh Jimmy, where you been so long Oh Jimmy, where you been so long And as the clock struck eight the next morning My husband was next to me with a smile on his face And I looked, no blond hairs on his pajamas And it was as if I had been awakened from a bad dream