How I wish I had a rocket ship to blast out into the atmosphere With my face on every billboard in the galaxy I'd be some universal celebrity And maybe you would think about me How I wish I were a juggernaut, to leave you visibly distraught But I don't make you double over I can't make you cry How many fires do I start before you bat an eye? And maybe make you think about me Wax my legs to pa** the time Sober friends and too much wine You will be my valentine If it's the last thing you do Carve your name across my chest Do anything that you request With all this love I must profess I am such a loser Wish I had a red canoe, oh I forgot of course I do But floating without paddles in a dirty lake Only offers dysentery and bellyache But maybe I would forget about you Sleep all day to lose my mind Dream about you, how I long and pine
You will be my valentine If it's the last thing you do Carve your name across my chest Do anything that you request With all this love I must profess I am such a loser I'll be running naked full tilt down the street Waiting for the cops to come and arrest me And then at 6pm maybe you will see me on TV I'll be the one who's all blurry in the private parts And you'll be swelling with love in your heart I wish you saw the better side of all the love I would provide Maybe some day if you heard me sing Well you would toss your wedding ring And maybe you would fall in love with me Wax my legs to pa** the time Sober friends and too much wine You will be my valentine If it's the last thing you do Carve your name across my chest Do anything that you request With all this love I must profess I am such a loser