It's Christmas we're talkin' 'bout No, beware
I'll cover you in fast eddies underwear
Wow, I'll eat your mammies panties
And tell your mom to come to me
And come to my prom Its in outer space
That's where my sleigh can fly to
Goodbye, excuse you
Can I come back and say the rest of it?
It's Christmas kids and you're gonna love it Gravy dripping all over me
Christmas is good
But only when I come to your house
And you've been good
Christmas comes to everyone in every neighborhood Whoa yeah, Christmas in fact
You see Christmas layin' on it's back
Get back to work b**h with me on top
And don't you ever, ever pull the lever that says stop Santa cooked your Christmas in his hobbit hole
But why's it so cold?
Santa cooked your Christmas in his hobbit hole
But why's it so cold? Santa cooked your Christmas in his hobbit hole
But why's it so cold?
Santa cooked your Christmas in his hobbit hole
But why's it so cold? Yeah you know
It is what it is so, whoa
I took a big ol' dump in a Pringles ca
Now I'm wipin' off my a**
Forget about my hand Pumped up ready to do it
I get in my sled
My sack filled with fluid I'm bringin' joy to my elves
Don't put it by me
Pleasures I won't deny their heiney My armpits will sweat
When I see that long-haired elf
Coming out of his Corvette Even though it's old
And it's got a little scratch
It don't matter
I just love to lick his patch On his chest
You'll catch me red-handed
Douglas, I'm the Christmas bandit
Top-soil plant, don't you love the taste
Of a beaver when it hesitates With this Christmas you're going dutch
But why's it so cold?
Get me outta this now
But Whys it so cold
Let me rub your back
But why's it so cold? You're gonna make a lot of money kid
But why's it so cold?
I'll invest every bit of love I got
But why's it so cold? I got a toolbox
But why's it so cold?
It makes no sense
But Why's It so cold? Fill you up
With pleasurous nutrients
Like a worm has weiner
Ho, ho, ho but why's it so cold? Weiner, ho, ho, ho but why's it so cold?
Weiner, ho, ho, ho but why's it so cold?
Weiner, ho, ho, ho but why's it so cold?
Weiner, ho, ho, ho but why's it so cold? And it all happened at the company Christmas party?
Oh yeah