((Thought I'd add some distinction between the three guys, since the talking part can be a little confusing, Benny's lines are in bold, Jordan's are regular, and Lee's are in italics.))
Woo hoo hoo
Woo hoo hoo
Woo hoo hoo hoo
Whoo hoo hoo
God is all around us
And he exists as three
Father, the son and the holy ghost
The Holy Trinity
Ooooh, the Holy Trinity
God made the heavens and the earth in just under a week
And Jesus taught upon the mound, blessed are the meek
The Holy Ghost is everywhere - he's a ghost so he can fly
Ooooh, and he haunts judges late at night
Woo hoo hoo
Woo hoo hoo
Woo hoo hoo hoo
Whoo hoo hoo
God will punish those who sin
Jesus died, for the win
The Holy Ghost delivers presents to children everywhere on Christmas Eve
Woo hoo-
What?
What? Sorry, hang on.
Lee? Lee? Lee. Lee!
Dude.
Lee. Lee?
What?
That's Santa Claus.
It's Father Christmas.
Yeah, we're talking about the Holy Ghost, come on.
Well, what does the holy ghost do, then?
(sigh)
Well, he's, like a ghost.
Yes.
Right, so he can fit through chimneys.
Yes, and what?
And he knows when you are sleeping! Blargh!
Wait, no! Jordan.
Hm?
Sorry, that is also Santa. And.. For some reason, Dracula? Sorry, look, it's very simple. Look, the Holy Ghost is the spiritual embodiment of God, on earth.
What does that mean?
Yeah, that doesn't tell us what he does.
What's his job?
Ah, forg- look, he- ... Erm... Well! He's a ghost, right?
Hm hmm.
So he can probably fly.
That's what I said.
Yeah, we- ... Erm... He got me that bike for Christmas?
No, that's Santa Claus.
Yeah, probably is, actually.
Yeah, well let's narrow it down. Is he a good ghost, like Casper the Friendly Ghost? Or a weird touchy ghost like a Patrick Swayze pottery ghost? They're very different.
I don't know. I've never though about it.
Yeah, he might be more of a Bruce Willis ghost, you know, he doesn't actually know that he's a ghost-
I'm sorry, what?
He just thinks he's a man and-
What? Bruce Willis was a ghost? (sighs) Thank you so much for ruining Die Hard for me.
Sorry, look, I think I've got it. He's definitely a good ghost, because he did good deeds on earth.
Like what?
Such as?
(sighs) Well, he entered Mary.
Yeah, that doesn't sound like a good ghost.
What? What are you talking about? It was fantastic! He entered Mary, he got her pregnant, she gave birth to Jesus! It was a miracle.
Right. So he's a s** offender ghost?
Yeah, that is a spectral rapist.
No! Sorry, it was NOTHING like that, c'os she didn't even know about it, so- ... Oh.
Woo hoo hoo
Woo hoo hoo
Woo hoo hoo hoo
Whoo hoo hoo
You can see God around us every day, in the flowers and the trees
And if you see Jesus Christ, he'll cure your disease
But if you see the Holy Ghost, call the cops without delay
If he offers you a chocolate bar, say no and run away
Ooooh, say no and run away
Woo hoo hoo!