Johnny went and joined the army, says he wants to see the world
Said he wants to get some money, (?)stage(?) himself into a girl
Suzie says she needs some lovin', says she really wants it bad
Says she's gonna start a family to get the love she never had
She don't wanna sell her s** for money, she don't wanna dance around the pole
Says she kind of thinks it's funny, the things she does for birth control
I know you always wanted champagne (?)
And I know you always said to me, there's something you don't get
But all I have to give to you is cheap wine and cigarettes
But let me tell you, honey now, this is as good as it gets
Mother goes and (?)gets the shopping(?), puts a coat on in the rain
She doesn't like to talk about it, but her back's in pain again
Father sits in front the telly, the football is about to start
Opens up another beer can, pulls aside and lets a fart
We're all together going nowhere, numbered in production lines
Looking like the one beside you, happiness is the only crime
I know you always wanted champagne (?)
And I know you always said to me, there's something you don't get
But all I have to give to you is cheap wine and cigarettes
But let me tell you, sweetheart now, this is as good as it gets