I'm only puttin' red on my Christmas tree It's a holiday I'll celebrate with my own company Pour the wine, I'll be fine Climb the ladder and place the star Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world you are I won't have to deal with your family The dressing and the stress, dysfunctionality A two day drive, stuck inside with you signing in my car Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world you are Don't have to rack my brain tryin' to find you the right thing you won't like anyway Avoid your flirtin' brother and please your mother or find the right thing to say I'll hold the remote control on Christmas Day And I can watch The Grinch and not some football game
I'll order in, call some friends, might smoke me a cigar Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world you are Don't have to rack my brain, tryin' to find you the right thing you won't like anyway Avoid your flirtin' brother and please your mother or find the right thing to say I won't have to wait for that ring this year The one you always promised after too many beers Pour the wine, I'll be fine Climb the ladder and place the star Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world Merry Christmas wherever in the world Merry Christmas wherever in the hell you are